GOALS

If I didn't have my own insecurities to face I would:

1) Have a writing career
2) Maintain my health
3) Build wealth
4) Read everything
5) No debt
6) to live alone

to reach all of these I can

1) Have a writing career
a. Submit 4 articles a week to my main writing web site
b. Maintain this blog
2) Maintain my health
a. Go to the gym
b. drink less
3) Build wealth
a. add to savings every week
b. stop buying food at work
4) Read everything
a. read when I get home
b. keep up with London Review of Books
5) No debt
a. pay something towards it every month
b. no new debt
6) live alone
a. Get mom to try to live at my aunt's
b. fill out application at NYSHA

If I do these things, I'll be less stressed out, and I'll be able to be nicer to people. In the meantime I just need to stay quiet.

ok....it's a start

Light Tunnels Etc.

I'll freely admit that I'm down right now. I feel like I'm stuck in a whirlwind of not me. I see myself being unkind to peopoe, being selfish, partaking in gossip, drinking too much, staring into space instead of working to improve myself, avoding the gym, eating badly and being paranoid. My boyfriend has his own issues going, but when he doesn't email me, I'm convinced he's slowly plotting to break up with me which makes me sad.

No, our relationship isn't perfect, but I like him. He's brusque, and awkward and cold, but he's also funny and sweet and intelligent and...well I won't go on forever, but there's something about him that I adore -- that being said, I'm constantly convinced that there's someone else or I'm not good enough.

There's something wrong here. My entire life feels like it's on the edge of a precipice when the truth is, it's my life, and I can take control of it any time I want. Even as I say this, I hardly believe it even though I have no idea who else could possibly hold the reigns. It's up to me what happens to me, and I have to find a way to seek peace responsibly or I will totally implode. Prepare for too many posts in a given time. For some reason releasing my thoughts into the internet satisfies some deep sense of narcisism that I can't ignore.

Sometimes You Need Stuff

Ok fine. I went crazy this weekend. I did. But I realized a bunch of things, mainly that having banshee hair and pants that are falling apart make me more upset than having credit card debt. So, as you can probably guess I got a haircut and some pants, and I found a skirt I can buy this week. I also saw some tops I liked, so I'll keep those in mind when I go shopping next, but first pants pants pants because all of mine are old and gross looking.

My boyfriend's going to hate the haircut, but I'm glad I won't have to go again for a while.

I spent a few hours today just sitting in the park and reading, and I realized that some of the most enjoyable moments creep up on you when you stop making tons of plans to relax.

I'm not saying I'm going to start meditating, but I think I need to start thinking about what's actually important in life. Yes all of the things I worry about are totally true, but 20 years from now will I even remember?

Will my work life actually even matter? Will all of this $$$ matter?

It will as far as it affects my health. Sigh.

One Step at a Time

Ok, this morning's post was a little intense. Writing it all out, though, really helped me to see exactly what's stressing me out. I realize I can't tackle all of them together, so I figure I'll go through them one by one.

I think first of all, you can't accomplish everything if you live a healthy lifestyle, so I need to get back on track healthwise. Lately, I've been going out too much and eating a lot of unhealthy food, and I can tell it's making me sort of sick, so as of this minute, I'm going to focus on the following things:

1) Walk wherever I can, whenever I can.
2) No drinking. None. None at all. Not neccessary.
3) Avoid salty foods/ sweets. Basically cut out the junk
4) Take every chance I can to work veggies into my diet
5) Drink a ton of water.

These are 5 simple things that can make a huge impact, so from today until next Thursday, these are all I'm going to worry about.

Having a Tough Week

I don't know if it's the change in seasons, the fact that I have some uber expensive dentist bills coming my way or the fact that work has been more difficult than usual, but I am having a tough time keeping myself above water.

I just feel like no matter what I do life will always have something missing. I wish I knew what it was, so that I could go after it, but all I know is that something isn't right.

I'm young, I'm healthy, I have great a friends, a sweet boyfriend and a job with plenty of room for growth, but I know that the only person who can actually take advantage of all of these things is me, and for some reason I'm just not living up to my own expectations.

Instead of coming home and writing, I just get in bed and watch tv or escape in a book
Instead of not spending money, I go out with my friends more often than I should
Instead of striving to get ahead at work, I totally phone it in. I do my job, but I don't do anything above what is required of me.
I keep getting emails about better jobs, but I don't follow up.
I have a gym membership but I barely go.
I still have a little bit of cc debt, and all of a sudden I just don't care about paying it off.
I support my mother, and I want to get her into a place of her own, but I just don't know how it's ever going to happen.

I just don't know. Everyone has problems, and I started this blog to force myself to be optimistic and focus on the good and stay motivated, but this week I feel like I'm beyond that altogether.

I suppose I'll just focus on the good out there and hope that gets me through. I'd pray, but after so many years, I don't think the powers that be are interested.

Need vs. Wants: The Neverending Battle

I've decided to try something this week. I am literally only going to spend money on needs and not wants...and I mean it.

For the past few weeks, I've been feeling rather shabby in my work clothes. I kept telling myself that I needed new ones, but really the only reason I feel shabby is because I've been too lazy to dry my hair or put on makeup or even pick out an outift other than some sort of skirt and top this uniform.

Do I need work clothes? no, I want them because I'm feeling insecure. I want them because I know I've gained weight, and I really want to feel less packed into my clothes.

To solve this I'm going to focus on eating less for a month. I'm going to put on makeup, and do my hair and moisturize and do all of those other girl things that we do. If at the end of this month I still feel less than gorgeous, then I'll easily pick up a new pair of pants.

Puttnig Some Good Out There

Every year when the seasons change I do my best to make a decision about the coming year. It's sort of like my personal new year's resolution.

Last year I decided to become more budget conscious and focus on decreasing my spending and increasing my savings while paying down the credit card debt that I ignored for years. It worked amazingly well. I certainly didn't deprive myself. If you look at my spending over the past year I certainly didn't go without. I went out quite a bit. I went to my friend's wedding without incurring any extra debt. I went on a mini vacation to Washington DC and I developed some badly needed awareness about my financial situation.

Here's a list of the following steps I took to pursue increased frugality:

1) I built an emergency fund and consciously saved up a small cushion.
2) I paid off 2/3 of my debt
3) I stopped shopping completely: I went from being the girl who shopped all the time to the girl who never shopped unless something wore out. It was kind of amazing, and you know what? I didn't go naked once nor did I feel out of place. True, my pants are starting to disintegrate, but it's good to know that I wore them out.
4) I stopped buying books: I started only going to the library, and I've read so many books for free. As an added bonus, I didn't bring any extra clutter into my home. I don't miss buying books that often which is weird for me because I read a lot, and I used to spend tons of $$$ on amazon.
5) I stopped buying movies AND I decreased my netflix account to the one movie at a time plan. : I sort of do miss having more movies, but I think it forces me to find other things to do.
6) I took advantage of my company's benefits i.e. I signed up for my phone plan through them, and my gym plan as well. I still haven't done transit checks, but I plan to.
7) I stopped treating myself to food as often: In the old days it wasn't rare for me to get coffee every morning, order lunch every time I got paid or run downstairs for a diet coke every afternoon. These had become habits instead of treats. Lately, I'll admit I've lapsed here, but overall I did improve.

Things I could improve on:
1) Drinking/Dining Out. I can't even begin to tell you how much I spent in this category, but it's seriously %75 of my discretionary spending. I certainly had fun, but there was no need to have that much fun. I think this year I'm going to have to apply the same discipline to what and where I drink i.e. no barfood/ drink specials/ no more than 2 in an evening.
2) Food: I tried, but I certainly lapsed here and there and those dollars add up.

More to come on my decision for this year's little project.

Clutter Be Gone

For the past few months I have had a neverending pile of clutter on my floor. I'll admit it. It's just been sitting there hanging out for at least six months. Meanwhile every time I come home from work, I hate my room again for being so cluttered. Well this morning I actually decided to clean it up.

I took 2 hours of my morning and carefully went through the mountain of garbage just sitting there. In addition to finding a pair of earrings I thought I'd lost, I now have a nice neat space where my clutter used to be.

It felt really good to go through all that and now that I have, I'm going to make a habit of carving out an hour here and there to declutter my home corner by corner.

I'm enforcing a strict rule that I'm only allowed to work on a small area at a time. That way it'll never seem too horribly choretastic.

Raniy Week

I won't be too wordy. This week was rough. My wisdom teeth are coming in, and they really hurt, and I've been putting off calling the dentist because I bet you they're going to charge me an arm and a leg.

I know it's worth spending the money to fix my teeth because long-term I have heard some horror stories about letting them rot, but short term the thought of spending that much money makes me want to cry.

I absolutely do not want to take any money out of savings especially for something boring like my teeth.

That being said, it's been a week straight of pain and lack of ability to focus or have fun and I can't take it anymore.

I think it's a poor person's issue not to want to spend money on medical issues until they get really bad. When I was a kid, we didn't have any money, and because of this I didn't go to the doctor at all unless I had to get something signed, and even then it was a medicaid doctor. I was ashamed to go there because of what the kids at school would say and to this day I always feel like my doctors are doing me a favor even though I pay for insurance now.

I need to focus on working past these issues for the sake of myself and my mouth.

Am I that frugal?

In the past year, I basically cut out shopping, I lowered my energy costs, I started using the library, I began budgeting and I managed to both save a decent amount and annihilate 2/3 of my consumer debt. Unfortunately then I began to get cocky. I figured, "hey I'm frugal now, so I can go ahead and buy that new pair of shoes. After all I know I can afford it"

This line of thinking is hard to stop especially when I get tired of wearing the same clothes every day. In this city, people bu new wardrobes every three months, and as much as I realize that this is insane, I just want new things sometimes. I want to drop $60 on dinner. I want the $200 haircut, I want, I want, I want...

and this is when I realized I'd totally lost my way. This whole time I thought I was motivated by simplifying my life, when really I was in mountains of debt, and I was terrified.

How did I realize this? I didn't accrue more debt or anything like that. All I did was sort my online banking account for the last month.

I should interrupt here by saying that, I find sites like quicken and mint to be incredibly tedious to fill out and use. They definitely offer great services, but for me, they just aren't that appealing. Because of this, I track all of my spending on an excel spreadsheet. I used to think that this was ok until this morning.

Excel is great for seeing where every penny goes and tallying your spending in different areas each month. You can also divide up in different time periods. I've started tracking my weekly spending instead of monthly, and it's amazing how much this helps from week to week. (Also it's fun seeing what I've been up to.)

Anyway, this morning all I did was sort my online banking account by type of expenditure, and my jaw was dangling somewhere around my ankles.

This whole time, I've been thinking I was frugal, but wow. Debit purchases every which way. Tons of cash taken out every week. Wow. Just wow. Some of it was necessary, but a lot of it could have been avoided simply by taking a minute and thinking about it.

Did I really need to go out with friends 5 days in a row?
Did I really need to buy 4 new pairs of shoes?
Did I really need a new dress that was way out of my price range?

Nope.

The thing that makes me sad is that none of these purchases made me happy. I had some good times, but they weren't necessary, and that money could have gone to better use towards saving for big purchases I really needed. Now it's just gone, and it hasn't benefited anyone including myself.

From now on I need to work on opening my eyes and seeing things properly.

Tracking Spending Saves Lives

I took a brief detour from tracking my spending and it's amazing how irresponsible I can be when I lose focus. I finally added up all of my spending this month so far and wow it all ads up.

I'm amazed at how buying food can add to your bills. Also, one night out can blow your budget completely. Also, once I let myself start to spend I just go crazy.

I fully pledge to recommit myself to not shopping or buying food during the week. They're total budget killers.

And sometimes we all fall down

So, again, not going into the gory details, but I had a rough night last night. I accidentally hurt my boyfriend's feelings, and I feel like a terrible human being. I didn't do it per se, but it happened because of his association with me. Anyway, I think it'll be fine, but I feel awful...so awful that I headed straight for the McDonalds down the block.

Damn it. I only ate 400 calories worth of that poison, but I can't believe I did it. My workout tonight will only cover those calories, so I won't make any extra dent in my calorie debt. Being overweight is the same thing as being in cc debt. I ate too many calories I couldn't burn off, so I'm stuck carrying them until I do the necessary groundwork to get rid of them. Since I don't impulse shop nearly as much anymore, I impulse ate instead.

The next time this happens I need to have some other mechanism in place. What can I do to avoid falling into the same old pitfalls?

Shout Out to Debt Hater

When I was a wee lass, I accidentally ran up a ton of cc debt. Now a lot of this was for good reasons that I don't really want to talk about, but most of it was on stupid things I bought without having a budget. I was at a point where I wouldn't even look at the statement balance each month, just the minimum payment. I'd do the math on how much interest I paid, but I don't want to know.

Several years and several thousand later, I'm almost finished paying everything off, and I'm losing my resolve. I decided to go back to the beginning and reread Debt Hater's blog. She was the first pf blogger I ever read, and something about her optimism and her honesty really kept me going. Also, she has this uncanny way of writing about how I'm feeling

this article is about how you eventually wear out your resolve on this debt free journey. It's about how, you suddenly lose the resolve to save all of your money, avoid going shopping, never go out, never have any fun and never buy anything new.

The truth is, if I had been more responsible this year I would be done paying off my debt for now. I can make all of the excuses in the world, but in truth I guess I just didn't want it bad enough or long enough. Truth is, I still sometimes slip back into that whole "cc debt is ok" mentality, but I just have to keep fighting until it's done.

For those of you single ladies with some hefty debt baggage, I highly recommend her whole blog, but start with the article above.

When the "life snowball" doesn't work for you

Sometimes it feels like there are way too many things I want to do

On any given day I want to:

1) Lose 20 pounds
2) Pay off my cc debt
3) Take care of family members who need it.
4) Freelance write
5) Clean out my closet
6) Sell my junk on ebay
7) purge my book collection
8) Clean out my bathroom
9) Apply to grad school
10) Go to driving school
11) Read every day

This list is so overwhelming that I usually end up sitting in front of my dvr or going shopping and buying more things that I don't need. Classic procrastinator.

My plan for this week is to just spend some time (any amount at all) on one of these on a given day. Maybe shoot a quick email to a new site I want to write for, do 50 squats or even send $10 I won't miss to one of my credit cards.

Some people apply the debt snowball to every aspect of life i.e. hit the smallest obligation with everything you've got, annihilate it and then move on to the next, but it's hard when a lot of what you want to do is an ongoing process. So I'm going to diversify and try and do a little of everything. I know this goes against what most people do, but the intense plan isn't happening.

Today I packed my lunch (anti-debt), did some research on an article I'm writing (freelance), posted my resume on a new job site (grad school/ work related), and after work I'm hitting the gym (anti-fat.) Tonight I'll read when I get home, and there you have it. Relaxing Monday with small amounts of time working towards different goals.

Well, if at first you don't succeed

I definitely did last week all wrong. I spent a ton of money on who knows what. The on Friday I went out and spent way too much on eats and bevvies. We had fun, but I certainly overspent. Then yesterday I was feeling...well fuggles, so I treated myself to a mani-pedi and some eyebrow grooming. Overall I didn't spend a lot, but if you factor in my week of treats, it's not the best.

However, I don't feel like it was a total wash. I managed to go to the gym on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I did some cardio - nothing fancy mind you, but there's something about going that makes me feel really good about myself which is always a good thing. I barely though about work all weekend which was also great.

I have a few stressful things coming down the pipeline that are life-realted, but that small act of doing seomething cheap and good for myself really helped.

If you're feeling like you can't catch a break, that life is too overwhelming or even that you don't even know where to start making improvements, go for a run. Even if you have a perfect body, there's something about it that makes you feel better.

Sleep is a Wonder Medicine

So I stayed home from work today. it's been stressing me out, and I've been getting insanely bad headaches.

Now I wonder if it was just because I was tired.

I just slept the day away. Not in a depressed I don't want to get out of bed way. (Trust me I know the difference.)

I woke up in a totally different frame of mind. I'm in a better mood. I feel like things are less dire, and colors are literally brighter.

When you find yourself having a slew of bad days, I guess the new first question to ask is:

have you gotten enough sleep lately?

A little decadence goes a long way

Yesterday I decided to go crazy and remove all limits on spending to give myself a "break" from frugal living, and I think it really helped me sort things out.

In total yesterday I spent:

1) $11.78: Fancy whole foods lunch
2) $18.50: Bottle of scotch (small/cheap)
3) $19.10: Groceries for the rest of the week (not on sale and definitely not the most nutritious.

1) I didn't need the lunch. It was good, but not "set $12 on fire" good
2) The scotch was fine, but I realized it's going to take more than a cocktail to help me get over the stress in my life. Due to my increased partying in the past few weeks, my tolerance has skyrocketed, and I don't even feel the effects of drinking. I've also noticed that when I'm stressed out it takes a lot more than I'm wiling to drink to feel anything.
3) The groceries weren't a huge waste. I wasn't frugal about it, but I enjoyed my dinner last night, and that was a nice treat.

I guess I've learned that if I'm going to spend money it should be for a reason. Nothing I bought yesterday will last very long, and any enjoyment I get out of it can't be greater than the peace I'll feel when my credit card debt is eliminated once and for all.

The next time I want to blow money for the hell of it, I'll remember this.

Somedays I'm just tired of budgeting

Ok, so basically paying down debt and losing weight are both super challenging, and it's difficult to do both at the same time. It's been 11 months since I started being more serious about not being..well...an idiot twenty-something, and it's totally exhausting

I am tired of not having the trendy clothes or the fancy drinks or the great nights out. When I started thinking about this stuff, it was so exciting and novel, and now it just seems so normal. I know a bunch of people in more debt than me, and they're ok with it.

Ok, I know I want to continue making myself healthier in every way that I can, but sometimes....I just don't anymore. I know it's just a funk, and it will pass, but it's just so irritating on days like these when I just want to go treat myself to a Bloomingdales run and some fancy cocktails and call it a day.

In an attempt to makw myself feel better I'm going to list out the cheaper things I have access to that make me feel good:

1) Unlimited baths and showers: Water's included in my utilities, so I can have as many showers as I want.
2) Seltzer: I love seltzer. It's embarassing how much I enjoy drinking it. It helps because you can add it to drinks as a mixer with no extra calories, and you can have it at bars to make it look like you're drinking. Also, at 88 cents a bottle it's a treat that's always affordable.
3) High speed internet: What can I say? I love me some interwebs. I love going online and seeing what's going on. Does this make me a huge introvert? Do I care? Not really. It's fast and I love it.
4) Cable/Netflix; Most people slash these immediately, but for me it's cheap entertainment I can enjoy on weekends. My bf and I have spent plenty of nights in front of the old netflix-tube, and I wouldn't trade that time with him for the fanciest dinner ever.
5)The Libes: That's right. I dig the library. I watch my library queue like I watch my bank account. I love that I read a ton of new, great books for free.

Sigh. I suppose it isn't all bad.

A New Tactic

Frankly, I'm a little sick of worrying about everything all the time. The Bills, the career the body?! It's exhausting. I want to look and feel fabulous while also saving money, but I've realized that gunning for all three is a little bit ridiculous. All it does is give me massive amounts of anxiety.

This week I'm doing something different. I'm going to focus on feeling better. Slightly different but frugal for several reasons.

1) I get 200 bucks if I go to the gym 50 times in 6 months. Hells yeah!
2) I'll be in a better mood which will help me do less impulse shopping. (I've been so bad lately. It's out of control.)

This week I'm going to buy whatever food I want to eat provided it's healthy, so I guess that means a lot of Maoz or maybe whole foods. I'm not going to skip lunch to impress my boss. It isn't productive anyway.

I'm also going to hit the gym after work which means I won't go out or go shopping to kill time.

Let's do it, and see how it goes.

We Need Jobs to pay our bills (and other things that suck)

So basically to live in Manhattan you need a job.
To pay off cc bills you need a job.
To buy food you need a job.

See where I'm going with this?'

In this economy, I know that I'm super lucky to be employed in the first place. there's room to learn in my position, and it certainly makes me more skilled. Most days I actively try to improve and do my work well, but sometimes the colorful personalities here make it impossible.

Case in point: I don't want to do anything today, but I have to and that stinks.

To try and motivate myself I read other pf blog posts, and go through my debts listing out my payment plans for all of them. I make lists of things I want to do when I'm out of debt. On the average day this works, but today, for the love of Mike, all I want to do is walk out of here and hang the consequences.

It just kills me that I'd have a lot more freedom if I hadn't bought myself tons of junk years ago. Oh well, now I know.

now I just have to get through the next 4.5 hours. Ouch.

Budget Week 1: FAIL (3 days left)

Wow, so I have four days left this week, and I'm officially out of money.

I made one goal to only spend $100 this week, and I had spent $89 by Monday.
Yesterday I contributed $1 to the boyfriend's grocery fund, and then I had to spend $10 on a coworkers birthday gift & cake which brings me to a whopping $0 left.

This makes me nervous because I'm going to a wedding this weekend, and I could use a pedicure. I wish I was one of those people who could self-groom, but I'm so not. My hand shake, and it always looks so blah.

so here's my dilemma: do I cut myself a break and just go over the budget, or do I do what I said I would do (huh?) and live as if I had no money left.

I guess tomorrow, I'll give the home foot-grooming a shot, and if it goes badly then I'll have time to deal with it.

I would have liked new shoes or something, but I guess it isn't necessary. The bf couldn't care less what I wear as long as it includes a pair of heels.

When work becomes more than you can take

A huge part of maintaining a good reputation at work is to keep your cool at all times. As much fun as it is to throw things, yell at people, and even drop an F-bomb from time to time, the best thing you can do for yourself is just remain calm......unfortunately it's one of the hardest things for me.

I know that no one at work will kill you. No one's allowed to smack you around. The worst thing that can happen is that people will act like obnoxious unfair jerks, your hard work won't be rewarded, you'll be bored, you'll be under-compensated or you will eventually be fired.

While all of these are terrible things, they won't, most likely kill you unless you let them get to you so much that you act out in other ways which can be detrimental to your health.

Bad work can make you stop sleeping, drink/eat too much, shop to relax...it's all connected.

The next time you realize work is seriously bringing you down focus on the fact that no matter what, it will be ok, the day will end and you will go home.

Sometimes that's all you need.

The Budget Guide to Looking Good

One of the most important things about looking awesome on a low budget is taking care of your skin. It doesn't matter what outfit you're wearing, if you've got pimples all over your face, you look like one of your parents mated with a carrot, or everything's all dry and haggard people won't even bother to give you a onceover. Taking care of your skin is key, and here are some obvious affordable tips to get you there.

1) Drink tons of water
2) Drink a cup or two of tea every day
-- these are also frugal because most offices provide one or both of these. They also curb your appetite which helps you save money on public food.
3) Workout. Even a half an hour of cardio gives you a nice healthy glow.
4) Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize. If you have to spend any money on your skin, spend it on moisturizer. I have an extremely sensitive skin, so it took me a while to find my brands, but now that I have I see a huge improvement in what I look like.

I'm a fan of
Aveeno Active Naturals for day
and
Eucerin Q10 for night

I also use Neutrogena no stress acne wash every day (foam) and between these three my breakouts are contained.

I'd like to add that I have seriously awful skin, so it's extremely difficult to find something that helps moisturize without making me break out.

As far as I'm concerned it's the holy trinity of face care for unfortunate ladies like myself who have super dry AND super oily acne prone skin from hell.

The Ugly Truth

I am 16 pounds heavier than I was 2 years ago at this time. 16 pounds!!! That's like 2 babies, or one toddler, or a wheelbarrow full of pennies. That's insane.

Also, all of the pictures of me taken recently are just bad enough to make me want to stop in my tracks and turn this around. I mean wow. It's one thing to look down at my gut while I type and vaguely note that it hasn't always been there, but getting on the scale is a totally different matter.

Clearly I'm no expert in losing weight. (I mean duh, does the 16 pounds ring a bell?), but I know that nothing just shocked me more than what I felt when I stepped on that scale and looked at those numbers. Obviously I need to put a plan into place.

1) Don't buy food at work. Clearly I can't cut off socializing easily, but I can totally stop buying food at work if I just make the effort.

2) Weigh myself every morning. Facing the so-called ugly truth first thing will truly help motivate me.

Here's to this working.

Spending More = Feeling Sick

At least in my case,

I finally managed a no-spend day yesterday on the last day of the month which would have been great if I hadn't been buying extras all week in the form of food an alcohol. I had a great time with my friends, but when I think about all of the extra money I burned through it makes me feel kind of nauseous. (Of course my kidneys have been running full steam, so that could have something to do with it.)

I'm happy to say that the accumulated shame and nausea certainly helps me get motivated to have an extremely frugal August.

My goal is to keep total expenses under $400 which sounds like a lot, but trust me it ads up quickly. My rule is don't eat out/ get drinks as often.

For instance, today I'm going to brunch at an extremely expensive place, but I'm not going to get the gluttonous special I usually do. I'll find a smaller healthier option and have that instead because I'm seriously porking up these days.

Then we have some free activities planned, so it should be all good.

Every time I want to spend money, I just open up my cc bills and remember that I already spent it years ago.

100 Bucks a Week

Sure it sounds like a lot when I type it, but apparently my monthly budget isn't enough to keep me from spending too much too soon. Instead of just keeping my bank account stocked, I'm going to take out my weekly cash at the beginning of the week and do my best to live on it. I know it sounds like a huge amount, but between food, going out and life's other necessities it ads up.

So far this week it's only Thursday afternoon, and I've already spent $48 which leaves me a whopping $52 to get through the next 3.5 days which would be great if I didn't have something lined up every day until Sunday.

My friends wouldn't judge me, but the idea of just going home because I'm out of money galls me. I never think to pull out my debit/cc card and float myself whatever I need. Also, if I'm already having a good time, why leave?

That's it. For the rest of this week and then all of August it's $100 a week or bust.

Drinking int he City is for Millionaires

So basically, the second I created this blog I went on a public food and going out bender that shames me as I write about it.

I bought coffee at Starbucks on Monday
Lunch at Maoz on Tuesday
35 bucks last night on drinks at three different bars (so fun!)
and then today I spent 8 bucks on a sandwich.

wow, other then the drinks out, it has just been such an overindulgent week. I didn't need any of the food or calories I consumed, and even if I had applied the food money to my cc debt, it would have taken care of the interest.

It's just that I've been paying down debt and/or saving aggressively since August of last year, and I am so sick of being frugal all the time. As much as I want to have no debt sooner, I can't just give up my social life which I'll totally regret.

It's tough though. I feel fatter then I've ever felt in my life, and I'm mad at myself now for going crazy. Starting now I need to be back on track.

Avoid the Public Food

Manhattan street vendors are the devil, if the devil was the most delicious concoction of fried greasy deliciousness. Every day I try and bring my lunch to work.

Usually, on any given day I'll show up with
1) apple
2) carrots
3) sandwich
4) yogurt

after my breakfast of shredded wheat + banana, so basically I have plenty.

This should be enough. Calorie-wise it's more than enough, but this is so not the way to save money in this city. It kills me because I grew up here, and I've known this for years, and somehow even though I'm not even hungry, I run over to Maoz for some sweet potato fries, or I head over to Wendys and grab nuggets because obviously I need those to lose weight.

Wow, hopefully if I type about it enough here, I'll actually start facing the obvious.

Lesson 1: Do. Not. Buy. Food. In. NYC.

if you're new to NYC, you might think that you're getting a deal on your meals, but the truth is that nothing you buy outside of the supermarket (with exceptions) will save you money on a meal, and the chances of it not fattening you up are slim to none.

That's it. As of today, July 28,2009 I'm instituting a 1 month food at work ban. If I don't bring enough, then I'll drink water until I get home. As Leo Babauta says, focus on eating less healthy food, and this will make you healthier and save you money. (This isn't all in this post of his by the way, but I'm obsessed with his blog, and I'm sure that's in there somewhere.)

Greetings

My name, for all intents and purposes, it Living Pretty. I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, not to mention one of the most attractive. I work in one of the trendiest neighborhoods in Manhattan, and it's hard not to feel like I'm missing something in the way of, oh, I dunno a model body, a trendy wardrobe, a care-free devil-may-care attitude etc.

A few years ago, all I cared about was keeping up appearances. I charged up a mountain of debt on all sorts of credit cards, I exercised to the point where it was more of an obsession than a healthy habit (still didn't lose any weight :P), I went out constantly even though I couldn't afford it, and I didn't leave any time for personal growth, basically I was a normal girl in her early-twenties.

Now I'm in my mid-twenties. I've paid off most of my shopping debt. I don't go out like a maniac anymore, and I certainly don't have the trendy wardrobe.

Basically, this isn't quite working for me anymore. This blog is going to be a tool to keep me on track while I finish paying off existing debt, run off those last 15 pounds in a healthy way, and somehow create a life here that I actually enjoy more than I get through.