Having a Tough Week

I don't know if it's the change in seasons, the fact that I have some uber expensive dentist bills coming my way or the fact that work has been more difficult than usual, but I am having a tough time keeping myself above water.

I just feel like no matter what I do life will always have something missing. I wish I knew what it was, so that I could go after it, but all I know is that something isn't right.

I'm young, I'm healthy, I have great a friends, a sweet boyfriend and a job with plenty of room for growth, but I know that the only person who can actually take advantage of all of these things is me, and for some reason I'm just not living up to my own expectations.

Instead of coming home and writing, I just get in bed and watch tv or escape in a book
Instead of not spending money, I go out with my friends more often than I should
Instead of striving to get ahead at work, I totally phone it in. I do my job, but I don't do anything above what is required of me.
I keep getting emails about better jobs, but I don't follow up.
I have a gym membership but I barely go.
I still have a little bit of cc debt, and all of a sudden I just don't care about paying it off.
I support my mother, and I want to get her into a place of her own, but I just don't know how it's ever going to happen.

I just don't know. Everyone has problems, and I started this blog to force myself to be optimistic and focus on the good and stay motivated, but this week I feel like I'm beyond that altogether.

I suppose I'll just focus on the good out there and hope that gets me through. I'd pray, but after so many years, I don't think the powers that be are interested.